Introduction

Divine institution of marriage is global but has its customary peculiarities among communities in Africa. In the light of societal transformation occurring mainly from secularization in Nigeria, the cardinal aspect of marriages are fast disappearing. The marriage institution has passed from a more spiritual union to mere ceremonial occasions.  Co-habitation in the name of girl-boy friend that results to unplanned pregnancy and subsequent settling down as couples without the formal marriage rites is fast replacing this divine union. New terminologies are created to shelter these unholy unions. Some of these popular new generation fashioned sexual relationships are:

• The ‘Abuja Marriage’, which is living together of two unmarried opposite sexes under one roof that leads to unplanned pregnancy with seldom marriage ceremony. Due to the rampancy of this kind of relationship in the city of Abuja and its notoriety, it is dubbed ‘Abuja Marriage’. It is upheld that 65% to 70% of such union never lasted.
• ‘Enugu Style’, which denotes marriage at early pregnancy. Two prospective couples may propose and engage, but have not formalized their proposal nor make move towards proper wedding until there are signs of pregnancy. It is said that such is to avoid barrenness in marriage. Other reasons being; to compel a reluctant partner or opposing family to accept the union, or to evade the high demand of marriage rites. In eastern Nigeria, above 50% weddings are conducted in early pregnancy.  

Islamic Marriage:

Marriage in Islam is a sacred covenant or Mithaaq[1] that legalizes sexual intercourse, the procreation of children and importantly, safeguard for chastity and modesty. Muslim marriages in Nigeria are based on the Maliki jurisprudential school of thought or madhhab. In practice, it has been so distorted that Islamic scholars’ protests have been unproductive, hence child marriage is a common scene in some Muslim communities.

This article’s focus is on the recent trend of marriage within the Igbo Muslim community of eastern Nigeria. It informed on how this minority community of Muslims conduct their Islamic affairs in conformity with their local dictates that has brought about enhanced harmony and peaceful co-existence within them.

In Islam, the central role of marriage is well illustrated in the Qur’an and by the Prophet Mohammad in his tradition or hadith. Islam considers marriage to be incumbent on every Muslim male and female, unless they fall under any of the impediments that invalidate consummation of such marriage, which include; insanity, underage and impotence, hence sexual intimacy is only permissible in Islam when there is marital union.

Igbo Traditional Marriage

Wedding or marriage ceremony in Igbo language is originally translated as Olulu di na Nwunye. Gradually it is been replaced with Igba Nkwu Nwanyi, which literally means ‘wine drinking of a woman’ and shortened for ‘igba nkwu’ or ‘wine drinking’. It is dubbed thus due to the amount of wine consumed during the ceremony. In the recent decades, the word has been accepted as Igbo word for traditional marriage ceremony.

As traditional ceremony requirements in the Igbo culture, healthy marriage must be accompanied with different types of alcoholic beverages presented in stages. Those stages take days and in some cases months and even years before they are finalized. The stages are identified with different names in different Igbo communities and the prerequisite varies, but have uniform or similar procedures:

1. Formal Proposal or Official Announcement of Intention:  

It is called ‘iku aka’ literally means ‘Knocking’ or anam abia (lit. I’m coming), or imari ulo (lit. house Knowing). It is the official declaration of intention and the visit is in two stages. At the first stage, the intending groom will be accompanied by his father or any elderly relative or close family friend to visit the father of the bride to be and formally introduce their family and state the intention of their visit. They will then agree on a later date to meet with other members of the prospective in-laws of which a minimum of two market days (7 days time) will be given. The gap is to give the contracting parties ample time to investigate each other’s family. Each will embark on a series of investigations about the character, home training, lineage, health history and clan relationships. The bride’s family will also use the time to intimate the larger family members and  kinsmen of the proposal. Where all the requirements are satisfactory to both sides, approval is given and when otherwise, any further relationship between the two lovers will be discouraged.

The prerequisites for this visit varies from village to village, but basically some of the key items that accompanies the delegate as gift to the host family include; Kola nuts, bottles of schnapps and local dry gin (kai-kai), etc. Among some riverside communities, sticks of big dried fish or stock fish is mandatory.

The second visit usually consists of wider companions from the family members of the suitor. The gathering is usually larger and a spokes person among the suitors delegate will publicly re-state their intention before drinks are served and consumed. The second visit requirements consist of the famous gallons of palm wine, bottles of seaman’s schnapps and local dry gin (kai-kai), Cartons of beer and other Non-Alcoholic drinks. The number of bottles, cartons and gallons of wines vary from community to community or village. Large tubers of yam, sticks of big dried Fish, are identified with some villages.

Some communities allow for single sitting for the two stages of formal proposal if the families already know each other but the requirements usually double[2]. The drinks and some of the sticks of fish or stock fish are consumed at the gathering and the rest items are given to the bride’s family.

• Consultation and Conversation Stage (ikpa ububo): at this stage, some family members of the suitor will consult their prospective in-law to fix a date for the ceremony, demand their labour charges and other special requirements for the ceremony. It is at this sitting the list of items to be purchased and monetary demands are spelt out and agreed upon. The visit is accompanied with bottles of Seaman’s Schnapps (Millennium brand) and local dry gin (kai-kai), while others may include stick of big dried fish or stock fish.

• The Engagement or Bridal Gift Day: With the famous gallons of Palm wine, bottles of Schnapps and bottles of local dry gin (kai–kai), cartons of beer, etc, the suitor engages the kinsmen of his prospective in-laws on the engagement day. Major part of the engagement stage is usually the affairs of the prospective mother-in-law and her biological family and kindred, the bride to be, her friends, the kindred daughters or Umuada and so on. It is majorly the gift giving day. It marks the girl’s change of status in the society. The items on the list are usually the bride’s gifts, some for her parents, the friends and even to the kindred daughters (Umuada). The content depends on how wealthy is the suitor and according to the community’s dictate. It usually consists of Boxes filled with cloths of different grade and shapes, with Head ties and shoes. Jewelleries, Toiletries and cosmetics are integral part of the gifts to the bride. Cartons of Non-alcoholic beverages of Malt and other soft drinks. Food items like certain numbers of tubers of yam and goat or fish, etc. Household items like sets of plates, kettles, cutleries, tray and basins, Flask, lantern, buckets, mat, mattress, pillows and could continue endlessly depending on community. In some parts of Igboland cash gift or Ogwe ego are recommended. Demands like Ego umunna, (Kinsmen cash), “Ego nfotu ite”,(cash to bring down symbolic cooking pot), “Ego ogo cherem’’ (money for waiting in-laws), “Ego maternity” (money for future maternity), “Ego onye Eze” (Money for the chief), Ego Umu youth (the youth money) are new developments or later day demands[3]. They are ways to extort more cash from the suitor, and have no traditional origin or value. These demands are negotiable and can be influenced or waived by the bride’s family. The would-be mother in-law is expected to prepare assorted dishes for her visitors. The event could either be a close family one or a big event that includes the whole village.

•  The Dowry: Dowry payment day used to be a special day of its own in most villages and communities. It carries different names in different parts of Igboland. It is known as Ime Eku (Bride price) among Ehugbo communities of Ebonyi state. Nmanya ukwu (Big wine) among Orlu communities of Imo state[4], et cetera. It is the most mandatory stage of all Igbo traditional marriages. One is not considered married without this stage, no matter the amount of money spent previously or the number of years spent with the bride. The dowry money is the only refundable item in case of divorce in Igbo tradition. It is symbolic money paid to the parents of the bride in the presence of their kinsmen and witnessed by the groom’s kinsmen and some elders of the village. A portion of the dowry is shared there and then at the gathering to the heads of the extended families of the bride to be. With the acceptance of the dowry, the bride thenceforth becomes member of the groom’s family. she will be escorted by her friends and the kindred daughters (Umuada) to her husband’s home. This stage has the largest requirements. For example, within the Ehugbo communities, the requirements are:
• 2 gallons of undiluted palm wine (Nkwu Elu) sent by the suitor in the morning of the stipulated day to the father in-law to be drinking in wait for their arrival. The suitor and his delegates arrive in the afternoon/evening accompanied with;
•  5 large tubers of yam, a big stick of good quality dried fish, bottle of red palm oil, ugu leave, etc, that will be sent to the mother–in-law to prepare food for the expected visitors.
• 12 gallons of palm wine,
• 2 cartons of beer,
• 2 bottles of schnapps or st. Remy’s or their equivalents,
• 1 bottle Native jin or kai–kai,
• 1 snuff box and 1 packet of cigarette with a box matches.
• A symbolic big log of wood for the compound and
• The bride price placed at one thousand five hundred naira in total but presented in ten naira or twenty naira notes.

The bride price feast is usually organized at the compound of the father–in-law. The expected visitors from the community must be legally married in Ehugbo traditional way. The dowry amount stipulated is only for the Ehugbo indigenes and it is shared in a particular ratio among the kinsmen or umunna, guests and the village elders. At the closure of the feast, an elderly member of the community – mostly red-cap age grade or ichie – after libations, declares the couple as husband and wife and from that moment, the girl is regarded as a member of the bridegroom’s household with all the rights and privileges of her matrimonial home. Non-indigenes of the community are charged double of the requirements and pay from ten thousand and above for the dowry.

However, escorting the bride to her matrimonial home is optionally accompanied with a ceremony. It is simply a sendoff party organized by the bride’s parents. In most parts, it is done any time after the bride price day and can even be organized when the daughter has been married for several years. The bride is given formal farewell by the family in a ceremony where the mother presents some household paraphernalia (aria) to her daughter for her matrimonial home.

Most contemporary traditional marriage ceremonies are merged as a single day occasion,  except for certain communities like the aforesaid Ehugbo communities that insist on separating the bride price day from other combinations, or warrant penalty.

Islamisation of the Traditional Marriage

Nikah is the Arabic word for marriage contract and it has a well established procedures and requirements in Islam. It is imperative that these procedures and requirements have to be kept for contract to be Islamic. The Igbo Muslims abide by those rules of Islamic family law. They perform nikah and celebrate walimah (the Islamic wedding party).  Inherently falling in a culture that is not Islamic, the Igbo Muslim community is part and parcel of the larger Igbo society. They relate and interact in all social contexts. They marry from and give their daughters in marriage, and inter-associatewith the larger Igbo communities without frictions.

Upholding the tenets of their religion, Igbo Muslims have attempted to diversify in the way they conduct their Igba Nkwu proceedings to eliminate all the un-Islamic practices of the traditional Igbo marriage as elucidated above. In recent past, marriages among Igbo Muslims were not practiced in uniformity. Every family marries their sons and daughters in accordance to what is obtainable in their immediate environment, which in most cases must include unholy invocations, alcoholic beverages and other intoxicants. In most cases, the Muslims monetize the requirements to escape meddling in unlawful items and processes. The money would still be used to purchase same products and consumed in the absence of the groom or his Muslim representatives.

How to rid Igbo Muslim traditional marriage ceremonies of intoxicants was general concern of the community for long. In December 2010, the Igbo Muslim community of Ebonyi state constituted a committee of Islamic scholars of Igbo origins and charged them with the responsibility – to reform the Igbo traditional marriage in conformity with the Islamic principle. A year later, on December 29, the committee invited the general community and presented their proposals of which most were adopted, ratified and passed as the community guiding regulations. It is now on book that Igbo Muslim community has a uniform procedure in their traditional marriage ceremonies. While they still retain the original procedures in their diverse communities and villages, the difference is that all the alcoholic wines and other intoxicants are replaced with non-alcoholic drinks. Invocations and libations in the name of gods of the land are replaced with Islamic prayers and recitations from the Qur’an. For example, the Ehugbo Muslim community celebrates the bride price day with:

1. 4 bottles of non-alcoholic wine (Eva wine or its equivalent brand)  against 2 gallons of undiluted palm wine (Nkwu Elu)
2. Items like, 5 large tubers of yam, a big stick of good quality dried fish, bottle of red palm oil, ugu leave, etc, are lawful in Islam and are upheld in the Igbo Muslim traditional marriage ceremony.
3. 3 cartons of Malt drink against 12 gallons of palm wine
4. 7 cartons of 7up soft drink against 2 cartons of beer,
5. 4 bottles of Eva wine or its equivalent against 2 bottles of schnapps or st. Remy’s or their equivalents,
6. 2 bottles of Eva wine against 1 bottle of Native jin or kai–kai,
7.  Snuff and cigarette gifts of the father-in-law are eliminated.
8. A symbolic big log of wood for the compound is upheld
9. The bride price of one thousand five hundred naira given in five, ten or twenty naira notes, presented to the umunna and the in-laws is upheld. However, the traditional dowry does not take the place of the dowry of Nikah. Islamic wedding is fully observed before or after Igba Nkwu.
10. Non-indigenes to present double of the required items and pay minimum of ten thousand naira as bride price is upheld among the Igbo Muslim communities.

Conclusion

After the ratification of the committee’s reform proposal a year earlier, in March 2012, the concept was put to test for the first time during a traditional marriage ceremony in Afikpo. There were series of resistance and opposition from the non-Muslim family members and kinsmen of the Couple to be, and the elders of the village. Being that the bride’s family and the groom were Muslim Faithful, the grumble and agitations of the non-Muslim members of their families were contained after long arguments. The marriage was consummated at last and the ceremony given all support, acceptance and blessings.

Written by: SULEMAN AGHA AFIKPO

                          October, 2013

[1] Qur’an 4: 21

[2] Idris Nwachi, 2013. Intervews

[3] Pst. Mrs Clinton, 2013. interview

[4] Barrister Onyinye, 2013. Interview